Something Witty

Who am I?

I am a professional at being Ukrainian, sleeping, and tripping when no one is watching. My name is Lara Chelak. What is this thing? It's a personal notebook of sorts; quick thoughts and musings on just about anything (although I'm a web-nerd at heart). I run a company and work as a full-time student in the great city of New York as well.

Oct
28th

Wed

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

—

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.

I love McSweeney’s.

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